Three Words

Three words that make me laugh out loud.

"NASCAR Competition Yellow".

HA HAHA hahaha!

What the heck for anyway? Like they need to throw a mandatory yellow! The "Best Drivers In The World" would, as usual, take care of producing plenty of caution periods during the Brickhead 400 at Indy yesterday, giving the "Doc" and crew ample time to rattle innane bullshit tripe non-information, and for ESPN to show that intro footage of bricks being made. Over and over and over again. Damn, I wish I could see that a couple more thousand times.

Yep, eight more times after the "NASCAR Competition Yellow" did the caution wave. For thirty-six laps total, almost one-fourth of the race distance. Ninety miles of caution. I'll say that again, ninety miles of caution. Sheesh.

Actually, only seven of the nine (NINE!) total cautions on the day can be attributed to the "drivers". One caution was caused by NASCAR, pure and simple. Which one? Well, NASCAR makes a big deal about touting that they've got an official in each pit, to keep an eye on the crews and for safety. The official in Jimmie Johnson's pit and the rest of NASCAR caused his second accident of the afternoon, and of course another caution.

The official in his pit is partly to blame because he observed the crap repairs that Johnson's crew did to the car, and then he allowed him out of his pit and back onto the racing surface. The rest of the NASCAR observers are to blame because on the caution laps during the clean-up of Johnson's first crash all the "racers tape" repair patches applied by his crew blew off (not a good sign, can you say "debris on the track"?).

Then, under the 1st two laps of green after the re-start his right front fender bodywork was obviously rubbing the tire at speed, hell even Doctor Jerry Punchdrunk could see it.

A. Did NASCAR contact his crew by radio and suggest he get the hell off the race track? Nope.

B. Did NASCAR contact that ubiquitous NASCAR official in Johnson's pit and suggest that he suggest to the crew to contact Johnson via radio and suggest that he get the hell off the track? No.

C. Did they show him the meat-ball flag. Uh, no again.

Bang, into the wall goes the #48 car, and then totally out of control, much like a flaming Miami drag-queen, he goes down across the racing line, miraculously avoided by the rest of the on-coming traffic. Good job NASCAR!

Ooh, speaking of flaming, is Kevin Harvick going for the Lindsay Lohan goofy bitch award? Does NASCAR have that? Today I loved reading the reports of him leading the press on a chase around the infield in golf carts at Indy (hahahaha!) because he was just sooo upset, and just couldn't talk right now. He was upset that he had bumped Tony Stewart, and that it had mucked up his aerodynamics. Or maybe, he was upset because Tony let him bump into him just so it would screw up Kevins aeros. Or that he had bumped Tony, or, man I never did really get it. Not that Tony Stewart and Nicole Ritchie don't often seem like twins.....or is that Paris?

Let me say publicly that I only watch NASCRAP while completely vegetating, purely for the entertainment, and certainly not for any racing action. Viewing occasionally only to see what stoopidity they might come up with next, kind of the same way that one might watch the WWF, their sporting twin.....and boy, they sure didn't disappoint me at Indy. Sorry for the rant.

Oh yeah, two more words that make me hyperventilate with laughter when I hear them, "The Chase".

HA HAHA hahahahahaha HA HAHAHA ahahahaha!

OXYGEN please!